“She’s no wrestler, but you should see her box.”

    Not enough can be said about this guy.  Put up for adoption at a very young age in Moosejaw, Saskatchawan, Capt’n Richie, never started out as a ball player.This is obvious because of his lack of ability.  Brought up by two Gay rancheros, Siegfriedo and Royo Escalante, Capt’n Richie spent most of his youth at the Calgary Stampede wearing chaps and sunscreen, and nothing else.  Without a doubt, Capt’n Richie is the greatest living Rodeo Clown ever to come out of Moosejaw.  However, After being arrested in Lodi, Ca. on a beastiality charge (Acquitted), he hung up his spurs,  make up, and G-string, and took up Professional Softball.  Even at that, nagging injuries and the fact that he crawled into the bottle 13 years ago have left him with a robotic, 'slammo' pitching machine, style of throwing. 

    Obviously, Capt’n Richie is only here for Comic relief and has nothing to bring to the table other than sheer speed and using his face to stop balls at third.   Sporting the proverbial, 'baby's arm holding the apple' (his second best attribute), Capt’n Richie is a  God-send to base running.  Whenever he breaks for second base, he runs like the wind.  So, Breaking wind is his second nature.